moving softly through fear to choose power

It is so ironic how reflecting on our thought processes can lead us to such major realizations. I have been on a journey to a healthy lifestyle. I have made some pertinent changes to my eating habits and have worked really hard to incorporate consistent exercise into my routine. I have made significant progress physically, and mentally. Recently, I decided to truly invest in myself and my journey by joining a kickboxing gym. Not only have I made physical progress, I feel mentally clear and stress free. I honestly feel better than I have in months. Through this, I have gained a new hobby and I’m doing something just for me. The benefits just a month and a half in are far beyond what I could have imagined. The growth was amazing to experience firsthand.

The other morning, I woke up and could not put any pressure on my left ankle. At all. It came completely out of left field. The day before I didn’t workout so I couldn’t pinpoint what has caused the swelling and pain. After I realized it was not just from sleeping at a weird angle, my immediate first thought was, "I cannot workout today." I thought back to early 2017 when I attempted to begin my healthy lifestyle journey and I hyperextended my knee. After that happened, I fell completely off until the beginning of this year.

When I remembered that, I honestly wanted to cry. I have been making a conscious effort since January and it seemed that my hard work was going to go down the drain. When I got hurt last year, I missed a trip to see my best friend, two weeks of work, and wasn’t able to workout for a few weeks. Needless to say, I went back to my old habits and felt terrible about it until the beginning of this year when I affirmed that nothing was going to be allowed to stand in my way of being my absolute healthiest self.

That morning for a brief moment, in the pits of my trigger, I re-lived that feeling that I had last year when I got hurt. As I began to feel like all of my hard work was going to go down the drain, something in me shifted. As quickly as I began to feel bad, I checked myself. I remembered that I have the power. If I said that nothing was going to stand in the way of me being my healthiest self, that’s what I meant, and that’s what was going to ring true. I decided not to let fear in.

When you are at your highest, there is always going to be something that comes along that tries its hardest to knock you down. That’s life. The question is, will you let it? Last year, I let it. This time, I absolutely will not.

The power is within us. You may not be able to control what happens, but you can control how you react. When you want something so bad and are working towards it, it is inevitable that there will be things thrown at you. Those are tests. Nothing that is worth having is easily obtained. Though this is minor, and most likely will be fine in a few days, it is still a test. It is still an out that I could take. I can still take this incident and quit. I could say “every time I try to be my healthiest self, I get hurt,” and stop, but it is so much better to say “I will be my healthiest self no matter what is thrown at me.” That feels so much better to say.

No matter how big or how small, you have the power to overcome anything that is thrown at you. You are more powerful than you realize. Whether it is a job you want but you don’t seem to have an ‘in’, or a financial goal you want to meet but seem to continuously keep getting hit with unforeseen expenses, you are more powerful than any of that. You will make it. You will be it. You will do it. You were not created to succumb to the things life throws at you. You were created to overcome and be the absolute best version of yourself. The power of the Universe lies in you. Unlock it and be great.

-- Kandace <3

© 2021 - Well Wildflower, LLC