When the sixth month of the year hit, I should have found myself rejoicing. June marked the end of my first year as an educator, which also meant summer and I’d be free of the 12 hour workdays I had everyday since September. The start of summer meant the beginning to all of the wonderful things summer would bring. However, I was feeling every emotion but excited. Instead, I found myself exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, burnt out, and sad.
I wasn’t feeling how I imagined I would be when June hit which also made me feel worse. Though everything in my life was good and the way it should be, I still felt bad. I couldn’t shake it. A conversation with my mother led to everything tumbling out (i.e. how I was feeling, why I was feeling that way and what caused me to feel the way I was feeling.) Afterwards, I felt great. I felt 10 times lighter.
During that conversation, I came to terms with the reasons behind my negative feelings. I knew the feelings that I was trying to evade would not subside until I acknowledged them, determined the reason, accepted them and worked to let them go. I was carrying around so much that I refused to talk about. I would push things to the furthest possible part of my brain and continue on like nothing was bothering me until I couldn’t take it anymore and I had to let it out. Everything is a host for a specific type of energy and I was just carrying way too much.
June turned out to be a month of release and surrender for me. After that conversation, other situations arose that showed me just how much I was holding in and as a result, forced me to let out. The Universe revealed that this was affecting me negatively. I’ve probably cried more times this month than I have the whole year, lol. However, releasing has proved to be nothing but beneficial for me, which is why I'm being so transparent about it.
Sometimes when we discover the etiology of our emotions and/or actions, facing them is the last thing we want to do. Instead, we push it to a far away part of our brains and attempt to continue on like it does not exist and suppress, suppress, suppress. Guess what, though? that never works. It only makes things worse.
In order to be our best selves, we have to be our true selves. In order to be our true selves, we have to be honest and raw about who we are. We have to acknowledge things that bring up negative emotions within us and what may have triggered it. For the sake of our mental health, holding on to things that do not make us feel good can cause unwanted manifestation. Acknowledge the emotions you are feeling. Take a moment to feel them. Scream, cry, punch your pillow. Do whatever you need to do to feel it.
Then let them go.
Negative emotions in no way serve us and we are ultimately our best selves when we let them go. It’s okay to let it out. You owe it to yourself to be the best, happiest you.