We all have people in our lives who are perfectly comfortable with who they are; the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's great to be unashamed and unapologetically one's self, but how comfortable is too comfortable?
I mean think about it – your negative attributes can be adjusted, so why choose to view them as an asset of your character that is unable to be shifted. Shouldn't we be working to better ourselves?
In this era, where people brag about being heartless and cutting others off, it makes it harder to address someone else’s flaws without the fear of them axing you as a friend. We want spaces where we can grow and be accepted, but it isn't the easiest. Have you ever confronted someone about their actions and their reply was, “ThAt’S jUsT hOw I aM?" Well, where exactly do we go from there?
You recognize that someone you care about is intentionally blocking their self from transforming into better, and therefore limiting their potential, but you shouldn't risk your own self-exploration and personal development. You notice a character flaw, you address it out of love, and then you are responded to with defensive energy.
To be completely honest, I can say with a passion that I dislike the idea of just leaving something at "that's just how I am." I am fully aware that some people are set in their ways, as am I to an extent, and that you have to accept people as they are, but there’s always room for growth. The 'this is my character' narrative gets played out the older I get.
I’ll admit that I used to have that same mentality, and maybe that's why this triggers this reaction in me. In recent years, I’ve learned that I am only blocking my blessings by not allowing myself to make room and bloom/develop from a complacent mindset.
Why are we so caught up on this disposition? Is it the idea of us not wanting to change for someone else? Is it pride and ego that’s interfering with owning up to a character flaw? What’s considered a negative attribute to me may be looked at as a form of resilience. Maybe it’s stubbornness that blinds us from seeing that something needs to change.
"Or, perhaps, one has attained some level of self-acceptance and simply knows he / she is this way, and accepts it (even if others don’t). Any and all of these explanations are fine, if there is sincerely no desire to change." All in all, there isn’t a problem with having personality traits that need improvement. The problem arises when you’re aware of a harmful quality and live in a space of refusal without desire to fix it.
We have to do the preventative work. We cannot always be reactionary.
I pray that I, and the people around me, are never too prideful to take advice. The beautiful thing about life is that we will never reach an age where there is nothing left to learn, see, or be.
“I’ve realized that sometimes your role in someone’s life is to inspire them to be better unintentionally just by being you.”
No flaw is insurmountable.
What is your hamartia? Are you open to addressing it?