solitude as a saving grace

As Q2 of 2018 is underway and the spring weather is seemingly here (ironically I type this as it’s currently 38 degrees outside), it is common that our social lives are increasing in relevance. In spring, a part of the natural transition is the change of pace in our day-to-day. Now we're finding that our schedules are filling up with social events to occupy our free time, and if we aren’t mindful, a full social calendar (on top of our professional work) can limit the time we have for the most important person: ourselves.

Lately, I have been finding myself overworked and overwhelmed. My day is so routine and unfortunately, it is jam packed. So jam packed, that I often skip over spending much needed time with myself in order to better regulate my to-do list(s). Along with work, important tasks occupy the day and when I have free time, it is almost immediately dedicated to catching up with family, friends, and my boyfriend, but not so much myself. While it is incredibly important to surround yourself with the people you love, the truth of the matter is that you MUST set aside time for yourself as well.

If we're being fully transparent, which we always are here, I have been neglecting myself and therefore shrinking as a result. When we neglect ourselves, and our self-care, everything else can quickly fall apart. We feel stressed out, anxious, tired, and burnt out which often leads to depressive thinking and cyclical negative habits. As a result, this can impact everything from work, to relationships, to our health because we are vibrating at a lower frequency than our body needs to thrive. When we are vibrating at a low frequency, we are not our highest, best selves which ultimately is the cause behind any declines in performance and attitude due to our inability to do our best. Without frequent "me time," we can feel grumpy, irritated, and low.

Think about it: If we want people to be their best selves when they are around us, shouldn't we reciprocate that by being our best selves around them? If we want the best given to us, we must give the best, and it is hard to do this when we fail to carve out time in our lives for the nurturing and nourishing of ourselves. It is our job to paint our insides to match our external.

Maybe you like to listen to music or a podcast while catching up on Twitter’s best jokes when you're alone. Maybe solitude leads you to your creativity, and you enjoy making things. Maybe you like to read but feel like you never have time to do it. Maybe you like to binge watch old episodes of 'Girlfriends' and laugh at how bourgeois Tony Childs was. Whatever it is, set aside some time for yourself each day and do something that provides you with both release and realignment. Whether it’s 30 minutes or an hour, dedicate time to your own progression and be intentional about how.

Starting now, pull out your pretty planners, go over your day, and if need be schedule some time for just you. Stick to it and enjoy spending time with yourself. This is the core component of self-love and self-care, yet the one we skip the most. However, that ends now.

- Kandace

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